Statement to the Press on Honest Adoption Language

Adoption: Legalized Lies urges members of the press to reconsider the use of so-called "Positive Adoption Language," the adoption dialect proposed by adoption professionals and pro-adoption lobbying organizations. Advocates of this deceptive adoption-speak are interested in promoting adoption through the media, attracting more potential customers, and securing more infants to increase their bottom line. They tout these terms as being "respectful" and "positive," without concern for the fact that their words are demeaning to natural families, dismissive of the adoptee's experience, and misleading for expectant parents. Accepting the adoption industry's terms as if they were indisputable is tantamount to using the KKK's preferred language for people of color. No reasonable journalist would ever try such a thing!

In place of "Positive Adoption Language" (which is clearly biased in nature), members of the press should strive to use Honest Adoption Language (HAL). Most of the terms used in HAL were conceived prior to adoption becoming a billion dollar industry. In addition to being clear and accurate, they are also more respectful of natural mothers and fathers, adopted people, and the realities of adoption as an institution. Rather than looking to "sell" the public on adoption, Honest Adoption Language is interested in depicting the experience with sensitivity and equality.

Below, you will find a glossary of preferred adoption terminology. We urge the press to use HAL in place of the adoption industry's heavily biased language when reporting on adoption, adopted people, and natural parents.

Adopted Adult/Adopted Child: When discussing someone who is adopted, it is important to take his or her age into account. As the term implies, an adopted child is a young person who has been adopted away from his or her natural family. It is degrading to refer to an adopted adult as an adopted child. Many adopted people resent being infantilized by state governments which have sealed their records and denied them access to their own personal information indefinitely. When the press and the public refer to adopted adults as adopted children, it only adds insult to injury.

Adoptive Caregiver/Adopter: "Positive Adoption Language" recommends dropping the "adoptive" prefix and referring to adopters as parents without reservation. This is a very deceptive practice, as it denies the adopted person's heritage and natural relationships. We believe that the terms adoptive caregiver and adopter are more accurate. Around the world, adopter is most commonly used on adoption paperwork, and we feel it most clearly reflects the relationship between the adopted person and his or her caregivers.

Natural Mother/Natural Father: Honest Adoption Language is not at all comfortable with the use of "birth" and "biological" as prefixes to describe parents who have had children taken by the adoption industry. We believe that these terms are designed to distance parents from their children, implying that they are vessels of conception rather than human beings. Many mothers and fathers are highly insulted by words like "birth mother" and "biological parent." Instead, we prefer to use the more inclusive term natural parent (or natural mother/natural father) in situatons where parent is not descriptive enough. Exiled parent, true parent, and real parent are also acceptable, though simple parent is typically preferred by many mothers and fathers.

Reunited: Honest Adoption Language uses the term reunited to describe the coming together of family members who were previously separated by adoption. In an effort to further distance parents from their children, pro-adoption terminology has suggested the phrase "made contact with" to describe reunions. Once again, "Positive Adoption Language" is inaccurate and biased against real families.

Surrendered to Adoption/Lost to Adoption: Honest Adoption Language rejects terms like "gave up for adoption" and "made an adoption plan" because these terms do not accurately reflect the adoption experience for the vast majority of parents. Terms like surrendered to adoption and lost to adoption more clearly depict the fact that natural mothers and fathers were given little say in the taking of their children by the adoption industry. The recent, "Positive Adoption Language"-inspired phrase, "made an adoption plan," is absolutely inaccurate and creates a sense of power and control for expectant parents when they are actually quite vulnerable. It should never be used.

The discrepancies between Honest Adoption Language and "Positive Adoption Language" are discussed in greater detail in Unlearning Adoption: A Guide to Family Preservation and Protection.